Heyo!
My life at the moment can best be depicted as a ridiculous amount of post-it notes, planners and daily to-do lists that make me want to cry a little bit. It's all a-go in regards to the November blues felt universally by students, lecturers, workers and people who just don't want to anymore. Things feel pretty tough right now, and I've consumed a staggering thirty-seven cups of tea already this week, and nine cups of coffee. I think I have a problem, but I can't decide it's with drinking too many hot beverages, or using them for warmth because of how cold it has been! November blues are very real and deserve to be drenched in a variety of hot beverages and some good food.
In a sea of deadlines, to use a term from my last post, I am treading water. I'm not drowning anymore but I am still in the thick of it. I have got a hold of the nearest deadlines and can happily say I have full (basic) drafts of two of the three essays I have to do before the 27th, and have cracked on with work due before the end of the semester so I'm (kinda?) on track!
(Note to Robyn: my university uses the semester system now; I'm not being American this time!)
I've also had a couple of dilemmas lately, mainly to do around my dissertation and with regards to how to approach things in my life that I want to tackle but feel very scared to for fear of the results/outcomes as a result. They aren't huge problems, but they're little things niggling away at me that I know I should probably deal with before they fester into a big ol' problem, because I don't have the time to deal with more of those! These consist of ending counselling as my sessions are almost up, and I am very happy with the progress I/we have made (he's a great guy and I will miss him making me nice tea and listening to him talk of his dog!) and also about post-uni life.
Post-university life terrifies me as a concept, because although I do have options and have had offers in regards to roommates and locations (Brighton, Bristol, Worthing and a couple other places are in the mix!) I don't know if I am ready to not be a student. I've been in education since I was three and my arm in a cast (I broke my arm just as I was supposed to start nursery, yes little Beckie was just as clumsy as current Beckie!) That's over eighteen years in education without a gap year or time out, and I'm scared at the concept of having to leave the education bubble and venture into the big scary world of work and adulthood. Although some could argue that I am an adult as I am 20 (very nearly 21) I do not feel as though I am. For example, today in Lidl this woman said to her child he should get out of the way of the nice lady behind him, and I actually looked for a lady, turns out, I was the lady in question! I don't feel like a lady or an adult and it's scary. I feel this is a normal dilemma and anxiety to have, but it doesn't mean it isn't a little bit nerve-wrecking.
I've been trying to de-stress in constructive ways, and have been reading more than ever, both for my course and the recommended secondary reading, but also for fun as advised by pals (mainly Bronte and Beth to be honest) but I'm enjoying it! I'm probably gonna start re-watching Parks and Rec soon as I have finished Peep Show and need something else to take its place in my unofficial schedule! Another thing I've been doing is crocheting and knitting a lot, if anyone follows me or has seen my Instagram you can see some of my crafty things, but I use yarn for craft pretty much daily, and it's really therapeutic to me! I started a scarf last night and it's already half done as of now, so I am hoping to have it done soon, if you want a scarf hit me up! If not, I'll probably make a little jumper for my dog because she'd look adorable!
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| This, alongside finishing a draft of my Publishing essay, has been my day and it's been LIT |
Now, onto the good bit of this post/stream-of-consciousness/rant, tea. I've been building up my tea collection over the last couple of months because at one point I only had four types and I felt my life really wasn't together at all! I am now the proud owner of over sixteen types of tea and I like that some are special teas, and others are the everyday kind. Having good tea every now and again is important to me as I have different teas for different moods and purposes. Spearmint and Camomile is sleepy tea, peppermint is 'I ate way too many carbs and feel bloated' tea, and Assam is a 'cracking way to kick off the day' tea!
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This has been another slightly more coherent rambling, from a somewhat incoherent student. I am currently sipping on a hearty mug of Earl Grey with a Lidl's Oatie ready to be dunked into it, all whilst trying to write an essay about how I'm going to write my essay (I've been Spa'd with this, I'm aware!) Hopefully after deadlines have passed my content will liven up and I can share the annual gig weekend I indulge in with you all!
B x
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