Heyo!
I've been pretty sick the last couple of weeks which is why I haven't been uploading lately. At first I genuinely thought I had the flu, I felt the worst I've ever felt, my limbs and body felt heavy and for two days I physically couldn't get out of bed without it taking 2-3 hours. I thought I was getting better, but I've been bad again this week so I've been looking up what it might be. It turns out it's my EDS is acting out really badly, and it's really scared me that this happens to other people and can happen to me at any time without warning.
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| I've been watching a ridiculous amount of TV in-between napping and being in loads of pain, old TV shows help |
For anyone who I haven't personally told, I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and is something I have been struggling with for many years now, but I really didn't think I would have it as bad as the doctors and geneticists had told me about. I thought I had it mildly, but this has reminded me not to push myself beyond my limits and not expect physical repercussions from time to time. My body can't deal with things the same way 'normal' people can. EDS is actually a registered and known disability, but I don't really view myself as being disabled, just not able to do some things some of the time. I don't claim loads of money to help me with it, and I don't have a blue badge to get me good parking spots and jump queues at theme parks, but I am still technically disabled. I forever forget about this, and again it isn't until I have a really bad patch that I realise how bad it can be at times.
I wrote a post before about my EDS and how I try really hard not to let it dictate what I can and cannot do, but over the last week or two it's really getting me down. I have barely left the house and when I do it's usually with someone or not going very far. I am lucky to have a great support network and Lidl very close to me, so I have friends, company and food all within a five minute walking radius. This means even on awful days, I can see people and they can easily come and see me and help me if I need them to. It also helps that I have my lovely housemate EJ and her partner Jade around too, as they always listen to me talk about rubbish and don't ask me why. Sometimes the pain has been that bad that I don't even talk to or see people, so having someone I live with be so lovely and listen to my gibberish and have their equally great s/o around to talk to when I feel up to it has been really lovely!
I've been struggling a lot with it lately, but I really hope that I'm recovering from it now because I have some amazing things lined up work-wise, life-wise and university-wise, and this would seriously cause a few problems in regards to em getting my work done and falling behind. My hands have been cramping up so bad that even when I couldn't do anything physically I could barely read or type. Not being able to read when the weather has been crappy has left me very bored and hassling people and craving some attention or affection, so thank you to everyone around me who has realised this is because I haven't been myself and needed some validation that everything would pass and be okay again soon.
This post doesn't really have any set-structure and I don't really feel the need to apologise for that, because what I'm writing about has no structure or method to it either. It comes, it goes, sometimes it's intense and sometimes it's pretty mild. I haven't had an EDS 'episode' like this in a couple of years, and I am really hoping I don't have it this bad anytime soon either. I know other people are fine with it and it is very manageable having type 3 EDS, and I know others that struggle on a daily basis. Disabilities come is all different degrees and severities, affecting every individual differently. I just hope mine will cut me some slack.
On a happy end-note, I've been able to watch lots of amazing TV and films and I cannot wait to share with you what I've been watching over the last few weeks (mainly in the last two-three weeks when I've been intermittently bed-ridden) in my next post which should be going up soon, so keep your eyes peeled for that. If you want to know when I put up a new post then follow me on one of the links below:
BlogLovin': https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/beckies-being-14918673 (my blog)
B x
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